Heavenly Lawns
One heavenly spring morning, God got into a conversation with St. Francis about lawns. The conversation went something like this...
 GOD: St. Francis, what in the world is going on down there in the USA? What happened to the dandelions, violets, thistle, and the other stuff I started eons ago? I created plants that grow in any type of soil, withstand drought, and multiply like crazy. I expected to see a vast garden of colors down there by now. But all I see are these green rectangles.
ST. FRANCIS: It's the tribes that settled there, Lord. The Suburbanites. They started calling your flowers weeds, and went to great lengths to kill them and replace them with grass.
 GOD: Grass? But it's so boring. It's not colorful. It doesn't attract butterflies, birds and bees, only grubs and sod worms. Do these Suburbanites really want all that grass growing there?The spring rains and warm weather probably make grass grow really fast. That must make the Suburbanites happy.
 ST. FRANCIS: Lord, I'm afraid not. As soon as the grass grows a little they cut it, sometimes twice a week.
GOD: They cut it?! Do they then bale it like hay?
ST. FRANCIS: Well, not exactly Lord. Most "Suburbanites" rake it up and put it in bags.
GOD: They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it?
ST. FRANCIS: No, sir -- just the opposite. They pay to throw it away.
 GOD: Now, let me get this straight. They fertilize grass so it will grow. And when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it away?
ST. FRANCIS: Yes, sir.
GOD: These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we cut back on the rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the growth and saves them a lot of work.
ST. FRANCIS: Lord, you're not going to believe this. When the grass stops growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to water it so they can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it.
GOD: What nonsense. At least they kept some of the trees. That was a sheer stroke of genius, if I do say so myself. The trees grow leaves in the spring to provide beauty and shade in the summer. In the autumn they fall to the ground and form a natural blanket to keep moisture in the soil and protect the trees and bushes. Plus, as they rot, the leaves form compost to enhance the soil. It's a natural circle of life.
ST. FRANCIS: You'd better sit down, Lord. The Suburbanites have drawn a new circle. As soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into huge piles, and pay to have them hauled away, too.
GOD: No way!! What do they do to protect the shrub and tree roots in the winter and to keep the soil moist and loose?
 ST. FRANCIS: After throwing away the leaves, they go out and buy something which they call mulch. They haul it home and spread it around in place of the leaves.
GOD: And where do they get this mulch?
ST. FRANCIS: They cut down trees and grind them up to make the mulch.
GOD: Enough! I don't want to think about this anymore. St. Catherine, you're in charge of the arts. What movie have you scheduled for us tonight?
ST. CATHERINE: Dumb and Dumber, Lord. It's a real stupid movie about...
GOD: Never mind, I think I just heard the whole story from St. Francis.
...Author Unknown |
Does the term “spring cleaning” conjure up a vision of Lucille Ball with a bandana tied around her head? What does the term “spring cleaning” bring to your mind? Probably the last thing you think of is the interior janitorial service at your office or buildings. Maybe it’s time to look at those buildings in a new light!
last time the baseboards were cleaned or the high dusting done? Does your cleaning service use green products? Are you getting the best price for the service? Do your buildings have their own janitorial specifications for a cleaning service to adhere to? Is the cleaning contractor paid the same amount every month even if you really didn’t think the building was as clean as it could be? Do you have questions that don’t seem to get answers???
Not just a white glove test (although we will do that, too!), OLM’s janitorial contract management service is more than checking buildings for dust bunnies. Beyond creating specifications and conducting the bid process is much more. Intrigued? Contact Cheryl Stewart, OLM’s senior janitorial consultant, at 
This week I received an e-mail from a local home improvement store with the enticing subject line of “Have the Best Lawn in the Neighborhood!” Out of curiosity I opened the e-mail to see what tips they might have to get that lawn started out this spring. Lo and behold, there was no sage wisdom on growing my lawn – but there were plenty of advertisements for fertilizer, seed and lawn equipment!
